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Are you a Los angeles cool girl

Just say anything at all. Let's be honest: I can work with "Do you like Thai food?

One girl suggested heading to Mexico to find the best street tamales. Wilder Shaw is a writer and comedian who, frankly, is very surprised that he even reached matches.

Share on Facebook Tweet this article Pin it Email. Share on Facebook Pin it. Does it?

Are you starting to see the trend here? Leave the cougars in the wild. What do you expect? She's been spoiled all the way to her rotten core, with near-instant fulfillment of any and every desire.

Which means she's impossible to please, very expensive, and always disappointed vool you and your life.

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Your days are numbered. Unless dear old Dad cuts her off, and she turns into….

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She's never paid rent in her life — and Lso never. That's because she has you, oh dear dumb knight with a shining credit card. She's been on unemployment for 9 months, and she says she applies to jobs every day, but you're just not sure what the hell she does all day.

Are you a Los angeles cool girl

What you are percent sure on is that you're not opposed to having a live-in maid who cooks, cleans and doubles as your sex slave. Although it's getting a little old, and expensive.

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And you kind of feel like Woody Allen because you're dete free sleeping with a child. Time to cut her and dive back into calmer waters. Speaking of which…. It really doesn't matter because the symptoms are all the same: Natural habitats: Glendale, Burbank, West Hollywood these ones tend to flock inland, perhaps to get away from the ange,es stereotype. She may seem like an interesting, even exotic choice.

And you're so open to other cultures, your friends tell you, so accepting. But not so fast, Mr. You're beginning to think her accent isn't cute anymore. You're tired of her pressuring you to settle.

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You're on to her plan, you think: She wants that all important slip of paper you were born with: If she looks too good to be true, well xngeles ever considered that she might work in the industry?

And we don't just mean Burnley married horny. She's outspoken, sincere, does yoga and jogs Runyon Canyon every day. How does she have time for all this, and time to go to work, and time, of course, walk her cute little Are you a Los angeles cool girl bulldog three times a aer

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Well, she's an actor, of course. She's been in L.

She says she's a local, but she's really from middle America where she was prom queen and the star of her high school musical. She's got chops. She's got talent.

She's even got an IMDB page and a web series. But she's also broke and spends her days working as a barista. Or, even worse, she's a big-name actress whom you should avoid like the plague.

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Because if you're not a are you a Los angeles cool girl, your ego will be crushed under her Jimmy Choos every time she shares what her day on-set was like. Tinder, OKCupid, JDate, Craigslist — no matter where you go to find your partner, she never looks as good in real life as she does in her profile pic. Plus, this window-shopping experience is the home of professional daters, that narcissistic breed free mature couples sex combs through your online footprint like an FBI profiler — taking away that special magic of meeting and learning about someone in real life.

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And even if you do make it are you a Los angeles cool girl your partners' unspoken hurdles and are deemed dating material, and you meet Miss Eastbourne adult personals after exchanging countless late-night texts, buyer beware.

She may have waxed off more than just her bad habits from her online profile. What does that leave, you ask? Keep your head up and out of the gutter; that means she's got some undesirable traits, not necessarily a clear landing strip. She might be needy.

Are you a Los angeles cool girl

She might be a party animal. She might just be boring.

At any rate, all that endless pre-meeting typing is so exhausting and time consuming, it's probably more cost age to just pay her by the hour. Which brings us to….

Her day begins when yours ends. She may work a pole, walk the streets or even be the lady you fantasize about in your sheets. She lives in the Valley, she always has a perfect French manicure, stacks of dollar bills, shady friends, extensions, tats, and secrets.

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